future Wirawati

     tomorrow morning. gather at Stadium Darul Makmur then take a bus to the 'jungle'. so this post is gonna be the last one until I come back. wonder if I ever come back. I hope so. please do pray for my safety and health okay? that's if u wanna see me again.

     now I've all kinds of feeling. super excited, nervous, worried and scared. wait. I'm not scared of anything. what's there to be scared of? the place? the people? the activities? myself? well just a bit for myself. scared of being punished. u know I'm always late in everything. never been the first one who arrives and etc. but I know I can take good care of myself. I'm grown-up now remember? and I'll learn something there.

     so before I leave I want all of u, no matter who u are to me, to take care of yourselves. because u know u got someone who loves u and that person is me. so long Kuantan.

p/s : I'm not gonna cry a tear for anybody. except my mum. I guess.

2011

     what's so great about celebrating the New Year? it seems meaningless to me. by the way is it compulsory to have a new year's resolution? now I find this as an interesting life motivation. so what's mine? I refuse to make a new one since I failed to give any commitment in my last years' resolutions. I'm afraid that it won't work. perhaps it's not wrong to have one small new determination for a problematic person like me. never been serious in things I do. so again. what's mine?

I don't wanna be nice to people anymore

     now this one's easier. and if u ask me why then the answer would be because I'm just too tired of being hurt. it may be negative for others but it's super positive for myself. I won't get hurt anymore. and u please stop being so hurtful. u may find me a bit self-centered after this. but like I care? I did once hurt. no. I hurt for so many times. it was because of my own stupidity. I was like giving my everything for someone who didn't appreciate, love and care about me, or should I say, "someone whom I shouldn't love dearly"? can't describe how stupid I was. but now it's gonna be a whole new thing.

p/s : learn to love Allah, our parents and ourselves with the most heart first. if the love we give can no longer be denied then we can start to love the rest.